I've been in Russia for 5 weeks now and somehow someway funny things have a way of finding me. Maybe it's because I'm the guy walking around with the bright orange umbrella...
This was my first week working in the kindergarten. Within 5 minutes of my entering the classroom for the first time they informed me they were getting a "clown" for a kids birthday and then all of a sudden I heard horns and whistles and there appeared not a clown like I was expecting but a superhero looking guy in full body red spandex, a black cape, and a black painted mask. He started running around the room like a crazy man and the kids just Exploded. It was absolute complete chaos and I was just standing there worried that I left a trail of mud in the room. There are 20 kids in the class and there were no lessons this week or next week because they're practicing for their Christmas musical performance. So I've basically just been awkardly standing around the whole time and acting as the "prop guy" for the kids play. And for 6-7 year olds this musical they're doing is what I would call extremely complicated. It looks as if they had professional ballet choreographers for every famous classical music piece you can think of. Watching rehearsal is like watching the opening ceremonies of the Beijing Olympics on repeat. And I'm the prop guy. There are 2 other teachers in the class, one of whom speaks English, the other of whom is one of those big ol' Russian ladies. Oh, and this class has its own private cook who makes breakfast and lunch for the students and teachers, including me. So in the mornings I eat what they call "porridge" everyday which is basically lumpy cream of wheat with no brown sugar, and for lunches there's always a soup, which they call "boullion" - sometimes its borshct which I inhale like a wild animal. Then they have a "second course" which is usually some sort of mystery meatballs, pink mashed potatoes and what they call "salad" but which is actually just one vegetable diced up. Nonetheless I devour everything not really cause I want to, but because I'm afraid of what they'll do if I don't. Also there's a rule that there's no talking while eating so I just sit there eating soup with the two other teachers in complete silence listening to the whole class loudly slurping. I have had to use all my will power not to break out in very loud laughter many times.
This is my last week of classes until Jan. 12. All Russia shuts down for the first 2 weeks of January to celebrate New Years and the Russian Xmas - which is on Jan. 7th. (Their calender was always 13 days behind everyone elses calendar until 1917 so they still celebrate Xmas on the old calendar day).
We had our work holiday party last night and it was hilarious. There were about 150 people there (all various workers of the school and its affiliates). I was in shirt and tie and there was all the free champagne and cognac one could want. I've heard a lot about how Russians toast but this exceeded all expectations. There was a microphone and an emcee (who midway through the night was dressed up as a PIRATE), and people were always barging up to come make a speech (all in Russian) and inevitably a toast. There must've been 50 toast throughout the night. And each time you're basically required to drink for the toasts. The only thing larger than the amount of alcohol they drink at parties is the amount of food they consume. There were about 6 different times when I thought the main course had been served only to find that there was larger, more exotic cuisine yet to come. Oh, and I can now say that I've eaten cow tongue. Actually, I can say that I've eaten 3 cow tongues. They were quite delicious, they tasted like chicken (tongues). They also called up all the new employees, including me, to the front and made them all drink a huge mug of champagne. At least they didn't make me give a speech cause God knows what kind of riot that would've caused. And the best part of it was that everyone there (excluding me cause I was so new) had to do a skit or musical performance in front of the whole group. So there were all these old Russian ladies doing period-piece musical acts and getting really into it. Then of course there were the 2 Scottish guys who did an interpretation of the old classic we call the YMCA. And then at the end of the night the whole thing devolved into a big dance party. Old and young alike were in a huge circle dancing it up and people would be going into the middle to show their best stuff. So of course I went in the middle and started doing what I thought was the Robot, but what really was me jerking around like a rabid dog. So that was fun.
But all in all I'm having a good time here and its been easier to cope with than I expected. Once you get used to the relative inefficiency and damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-dont attitude that is the Russian way of life its easy to just go with the flow. More people speak English than I had thought which is nice. In the businesses I teach its amazing to learn how frequently English is used in international business. If a Russian does business with a German, they speak English, if a Russian does business with a Chinese person, they speak English, and on and on. Whenever people are communicating with people outside of their own country, they're using English. I love it. Takes the hassle out of trying to learn new languages. One thing I do miss is the constant good cheer and optimism of Americans. It's amazing how many people say how optimistic I am and I guess its just that good old American breeding.
Ok enough already. There's a good chance that next time I'll be including some pictures. Or maybe the time after that.
Merry Christmas everyone. And I'll just leave you with the disturbing fact that in Russia, Santa Claus HAS A DAUGHTER!
This was my first week working in the kindergarten. Within 5 minutes of my entering the classroom for the first time they informed me they were getting a "clown" for a kids birthday and then all of a sudden I heard horns and whistles and there appeared not a clown like I was expecting but a superhero looking guy in full body red spandex, a black cape, and a black painted mask. He started running around the room like a crazy man and the kids just Exploded. It was absolute complete chaos and I was just standing there worried that I left a trail of mud in the room. There are 20 kids in the class and there were no lessons this week or next week because they're practicing for their Christmas musical performance. So I've basically just been awkardly standing around the whole time and acting as the "prop guy" for the kids play. And for 6-7 year olds this musical they're doing is what I would call extremely complicated. It looks as if they had professional ballet choreographers for every famous classical music piece you can think of. Watching rehearsal is like watching the opening ceremonies of the Beijing Olympics on repeat. And I'm the prop guy. There are 2 other teachers in the class, one of whom speaks English, the other of whom is one of those big ol' Russian ladies. Oh, and this class has its own private cook who makes breakfast and lunch for the students and teachers, including me. So in the mornings I eat what they call "porridge" everyday which is basically lumpy cream of wheat with no brown sugar, and for lunches there's always a soup, which they call "boullion" - sometimes its borshct which I inhale like a wild animal. Then they have a "second course" which is usually some sort of mystery meatballs, pink mashed potatoes and what they call "salad" but which is actually just one vegetable diced up. Nonetheless I devour everything not really cause I want to, but because I'm afraid of what they'll do if I don't. Also there's a rule that there's no talking while eating so I just sit there eating soup with the two other teachers in complete silence listening to the whole class loudly slurping. I have had to use all my will power not to break out in very loud laughter many times.
This is my last week of classes until Jan. 12. All Russia shuts down for the first 2 weeks of January to celebrate New Years and the Russian Xmas - which is on Jan. 7th. (Their calender was always 13 days behind everyone elses calendar until 1917 so they still celebrate Xmas on the old calendar day).
We had our work holiday party last night and it was hilarious. There were about 150 people there (all various workers of the school and its affiliates). I was in shirt and tie and there was all the free champagne and cognac one could want. I've heard a lot about how Russians toast but this exceeded all expectations. There was a microphone and an emcee (who midway through the night was dressed up as a PIRATE), and people were always barging up to come make a speech (all in Russian) and inevitably a toast. There must've been 50 toast throughout the night. And each time you're basically required to drink for the toasts. The only thing larger than the amount of alcohol they drink at parties is the amount of food they consume. There were about 6 different times when I thought the main course had been served only to find that there was larger, more exotic cuisine yet to come. Oh, and I can now say that I've eaten cow tongue. Actually, I can say that I've eaten 3 cow tongues. They were quite delicious, they tasted like chicken (tongues). They also called up all the new employees, including me, to the front and made them all drink a huge mug of champagne. At least they didn't make me give a speech cause God knows what kind of riot that would've caused. And the best part of it was that everyone there (excluding me cause I was so new) had to do a skit or musical performance in front of the whole group. So there were all these old Russian ladies doing period-piece musical acts and getting really into it. Then of course there were the 2 Scottish guys who did an interpretation of the old classic we call the YMCA. And then at the end of the night the whole thing devolved into a big dance party. Old and young alike were in a huge circle dancing it up and people would be going into the middle to show their best stuff. So of course I went in the middle and started doing what I thought was the Robot, but what really was me jerking around like a rabid dog. So that was fun.
But all in all I'm having a good time here and its been easier to cope with than I expected. Once you get used to the relative inefficiency and damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-dont attitude that is the Russian way of life its easy to just go with the flow. More people speak English than I had thought which is nice. In the businesses I teach its amazing to learn how frequently English is used in international business. If a Russian does business with a German, they speak English, if a Russian does business with a Chinese person, they speak English, and on and on. Whenever people are communicating with people outside of their own country, they're using English. I love it. Takes the hassle out of trying to learn new languages. One thing I do miss is the constant good cheer and optimism of Americans. It's amazing how many people say how optimistic I am and I guess its just that good old American breeding.
Ok enough already. There's a good chance that next time I'll be including some pictures. Or maybe the time after that.
Merry Christmas everyone. And I'll just leave you with the disturbing fact that in Russia, Santa Claus HAS A DAUGHTER!
No comments:
Post a Comment