Hello. Hello. Hello.
Well now its May and the city has literally transformed overnight from a gloomy, frozen, mullet-infested swampland to a vibrant, exciting, tourist-haven paradise. Mullets still included though. Outside seating at cafes, which was unthinkable a month ago, have sprouted up at many places. I remember when I first saw people wearing sunglasses and was like "whoa, look at that". And when I saw the first signs of green on the trees I was like "whoa, look at that". And when I saw the first Russian woman wearing clothes that didn't cover every square inch of her I was like "whoa, look at that", and conversely when I saw the first Russian man wearing nothing but speedos near the river I was like "nothing to see hear folks", then I wanted to gouge my eyes out. There are little beaches along the river here and Russian men just love wearing speedos all over them, packed very tightly. And, holy of holies, I even saw a bunch of guys in speedos playing soccer in the park! Just speedos and sports shoes. There should be laws against that. Yes, the sun is bright and shiny and jackets aren't really necessary anymore. T-shirts are becoming common. But since I'm in Russia they're real cheesy T-shirts with cheesy slogans in English on them like "I Don't Play Nice" or something like that. Russians are about a decade behind in terms of pop culture coolness. I think I actually saw a shirt that just said NOT in big letters. The last day of official snow here was April 17. I know cause I visited the Hermitage again for the 3rd time for no particular reason. The city is hardcore gearing up for the tourist season, porta-potties and beer gardens are springing up like inedible mushrooms, and there's no pleasure like being able to walk around the city amidst the throngs of masses with a beer in your hands and and an ipod in your ear. Also I've been playing a lot of frisbee on that glorious green stuff called grass. However out of habit whenever the frisbee might hit a pedestrian I yell out "Heads Up!" but nobody ever puts their head up cause they can't understand a damn word I say. I think "Heads Up" needs to become an international phrase like "Ok" and "uh-huh".
I went to an opera for the first time I think in my life and to make a long story short I left at the first intermission. Everybody told me there are English subtitles at all the operas but of course I picked out the one opera to go to that was in Italian with Russian subtitles. So I was just kinda sitting there while these weird people sang in strange voices on stage. I couldn't get comfortable in my chair either which there are no words to describe how annoying that was. The only thing that made it worthwhile was the theatre itself. The Maryinsky theatre is world famous and rightly so. Absolutely decadent and ridiculously opulent. Fit for a Tsar. Next up - the ballet.
A couple more quirks about the Russian people. Whenever anything surprising or slightly upsetting happens to them, they use the word "oy" to express it. If they drop something its "oy", if they say the wrong answer its "oy", if the subway suddenly lurches to one side its "oy". Everything is "oy" and "oy" is everything. I find myself unconsciously using this little word now much to my own amusement. And the next quirk: popular Russian vacation destinations! In order from most popular to least popular: Egypt, Cuba, Turkey, Finland, and.....SRI LANKA! I think everyone I've met has been to Egypt multiple times, some people I know are getting married in Cuba and some of my students just got back from a 3 week getaway to the peaceful, serene, non-war zone paradise of Sri Lanka. Complete with Frosted Flakes featuring Tony "The Tamil" Tiger. Anybody?
May 1st was a holiday known as "Workers Day" and there was a medium sized parade which was just made up of anybody who wanted to be in it. I guess they were workers. May 9th is also a holiday and besides New Years its probably the biggest holiday of the year. Its Victory Day and celebrates the defeat of those Nazis. There will be a huge military parade which I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to seeing. I really hope there are ballistic missiles involved but I'll settle for uniformed soldiers walking in unison each one with an AK-47.
Alright thats all for now. I'll be back again sometime soon.
Well now its May and the city has literally transformed overnight from a gloomy, frozen, mullet-infested swampland to a vibrant, exciting, tourist-haven paradise. Mullets still included though. Outside seating at cafes, which was unthinkable a month ago, have sprouted up at many places. I remember when I first saw people wearing sunglasses and was like "whoa, look at that". And when I saw the first signs of green on the trees I was like "whoa, look at that". And when I saw the first Russian woman wearing clothes that didn't cover every square inch of her I was like "whoa, look at that", and conversely when I saw the first Russian man wearing nothing but speedos near the river I was like "nothing to see hear folks", then I wanted to gouge my eyes out. There are little beaches along the river here and Russian men just love wearing speedos all over them, packed very tightly. And, holy of holies, I even saw a bunch of guys in speedos playing soccer in the park! Just speedos and sports shoes. There should be laws against that. Yes, the sun is bright and shiny and jackets aren't really necessary anymore. T-shirts are becoming common. But since I'm in Russia they're real cheesy T-shirts with cheesy slogans in English on them like "I Don't Play Nice" or something like that. Russians are about a decade behind in terms of pop culture coolness. I think I actually saw a shirt that just said NOT in big letters. The last day of official snow here was April 17. I know cause I visited the Hermitage again for the 3rd time for no particular reason. The city is hardcore gearing up for the tourist season, porta-potties and beer gardens are springing up like inedible mushrooms, and there's no pleasure like being able to walk around the city amidst the throngs of masses with a beer in your hands and and an ipod in your ear. Also I've been playing a lot of frisbee on that glorious green stuff called grass. However out of habit whenever the frisbee might hit a pedestrian I yell out "Heads Up!" but nobody ever puts their head up cause they can't understand a damn word I say. I think "Heads Up" needs to become an international phrase like "Ok" and "uh-huh".
I went to an opera for the first time I think in my life and to make a long story short I left at the first intermission. Everybody told me there are English subtitles at all the operas but of course I picked out the one opera to go to that was in Italian with Russian subtitles. So I was just kinda sitting there while these weird people sang in strange voices on stage. I couldn't get comfortable in my chair either which there are no words to describe how annoying that was. The only thing that made it worthwhile was the theatre itself. The Maryinsky theatre is world famous and rightly so. Absolutely decadent and ridiculously opulent. Fit for a Tsar. Next up - the ballet.
A couple more quirks about the Russian people. Whenever anything surprising or slightly upsetting happens to them, they use the word "oy" to express it. If they drop something its "oy", if they say the wrong answer its "oy", if the subway suddenly lurches to one side its "oy". Everything is "oy" and "oy" is everything. I find myself unconsciously using this little word now much to my own amusement. And the next quirk: popular Russian vacation destinations! In order from most popular to least popular: Egypt, Cuba, Turkey, Finland, and.....SRI LANKA! I think everyone I've met has been to Egypt multiple times, some people I know are getting married in Cuba and some of my students just got back from a 3 week getaway to the peaceful, serene, non-war zone paradise of Sri Lanka. Complete with Frosted Flakes featuring Tony "The Tamil" Tiger. Anybody?
May 1st was a holiday known as "Workers Day" and there was a medium sized parade which was just made up of anybody who wanted to be in it. I guess they were workers. May 9th is also a holiday and besides New Years its probably the biggest holiday of the year. Its Victory Day and celebrates the defeat of those Nazis. There will be a huge military parade which I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to seeing. I really hope there are ballistic missiles involved but I'll settle for uniformed soldiers walking in unison each one with an AK-47.
Alright thats all for now. I'll be back again sometime soon.
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